i had the best of best times while i was away last week.
of course now it's the inevitable 'come down' as i return to regular programming here on earth.
i suppose it's just normal that i would be feeling far away and alone after spending 10 days surrounded with great people.
so motivation levels aren't very high at the moment, and my twisting gut pains didn't help that either - feeling better today though, they are still lingering around me but the buscopan and peppermint teas are helping my guts to settle the fuck down.....
so doing some work from home again today while i rest up which should help me get through it as well...
in the mean time, my brain will go walkabout unless i get my shit together and just get on with it.
i know who i am. i know what my purpose is. i know what i am capable of.
there's also a potential job on the horizon, once again - train driving is back on the cards as i've been called up for an assessment next week - i thought that was finished and buried after the last talk i had with them after brent sacked me.
"i am strong, i am able, i spill milk on your table, then i cry like a baby, just to see if you'll save me"
i should really stop thinking that "am i getting through parts 1+2" is a song that reflects who i am - because i'm not that anymore. i am strong and i am able - it ends there.
assertiveness is the new king and i intend on using it to the best of my ability. because there is nothing to stop me from giving it a go.
i went to the city yesterday afternoon to visit the doctor about my gut pain.
it was an amazing feeling walking with my head held high and looking the world dead straight in the face. made me feel confident. i need to do more of that.
and then when i realised i was walking in the complete wrong direction (LOL), i didn't let it drag me down and drop my head to look at the ground, i simply turned and walked into the direction i should have been going.
the foreseeable future looks awesome for me, and i am going to, and am, working damn hard towards getting that life that i want to lead and be led by.
so calm the fuck down, suck it up, get over the crap and get on with it!
enough soul searching, i've found it.
enough whinging, it's a waste of time.
enough self-pity, nobody wants to hear it, certainly not even me.
i know what my purpose in life is - so i'm going to be present in the moment and live it to the best of my capabilities.
and my capabilities stretch far and wide.
i'll be using them from now on.
